envy and the teacher
by not a straight trumpet
Summary: It's a rhythm they've fallen into, these late-night talks, and Kumiko finds herself confronting feelings she hadn't always considered while Reina finds herself trying to understand her own.


**a/n:** so i think i'm going to try and write a small fic like this for most of the eps if there's enough Kumirei Content (or _not_ enough Kumirei Content, because then it's my duty to bring the Kumirei Content myself). anyway, i was thinking about tumblr user brausur's posts about compulsory heterosexuality and kumirei and then. this happened.

* * *

Kumiko was just about ready to collapse onto her futon when the day ended, and it seemed like most of the band shared that sentiment. As things turned out, she ended up doing just that. She was just about to doze into dreamland when she felt someone poking her back.

"Asuka, I told you-"

"It's me." Kumiko flipped over, wrapping herself in the blanket as she did so, to see Reina staring down at her with a barely-hidden expression of amusement.

"R-Reina!" Kumiko scrambled to untangle herself, only ending up getting more stuck in the process. Reina chuckled.

"It's still fairly early, I would've expected you to stay awake and wander around some more."

"Nope." Kumiko made an _X_ with her arms, a gesture she had subconsciously picked up from Asuka. She cursed herself for following the senior euph's lead as soon as she realized it, and let her arms fall to her sides.

"What's been bothering you, then?" Kumiko shrugged.

"Nothing, really. I just want to sleep."

"Understandable." Reina flopped down beside her, looking up at the ceiling. "You're not bothered by anything regarding, say, Taki-sensei?" Kumiko gulped.

"N-no, of course not!" she yelped. "Why would I be, why do you think that?"

"You're always on edge whenever I bring him up." Reina adjusted her position, wiggling underneath the covers. "I've been wondering why, admittedly."

"He's twice your age!" Kumiko blurted out. She knew that she could've said something - anything - else, but the only thing that ran through her brain was neon-green envy, and so she found herself coming up with only the simple facts.

"I'm well aware of that."

"Y-yeah, well, doesn't it bother you? At all?" Reina shrugged.

"I don't think that anything will happen, you know that, right? You're just humoring me with this, I can tell." Kumiko couldn't respond. "I'm not really expecting Taki-sensei to reciprocate these . . . feelings." Reina wistfully held her knees to her chest. "I'm not even sure if that's what they are, if we're being honest." It was Kumiko's turn to shrug. "I'm sorry, this must be a lot to suddenly dump out when we're both bone-tired."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for, right?" Kumiko let out a hoarse chuckle.

"They have to be, though."

"What?"

"These feelings, they have to be romantic. I love Taki-sensei, that's what this is, right? Love?" Kumiko gagged at the thought of romantic feelings towards the teacher, but she remained silent.

"We're f-fifteen, Reina, I dunno if either of us know what love's like." Kumiko, in fact, knew what love was like quite well - it was watching Reina play her trumpet with such determination, raven hair flowing behind her as she stood in the earliest hours of the mornings. It was something indescribable, it was the warm feeling in her chest that made her smile like a dope in the strangest of hours. It was something, she knew with a grimness, that she could never tell Reina, not when she was still smitten with a man twice her age.

"You've heard the rest of the band talk about him, right? They all know that he's good-looking."

"I can't really see it." Kumiko paused. "I mean, I'm gay as all heck, so I doubt that it'd make a difference, but still. Isn't there, uh, more to this sort of thing then looks, anyway?"

"Of course there is. It's his dedication to the craft that I admire, after all."

"You're pretty dedicated too, Reina." Reina flushed red, turning away.

"I'm not sure if I'll still be quite as focused on music when I'm his age, though. I'm still just beginning to learn what this all means. There's a lot that I don't know, there's a lot that I haven't done."

"You're amazing." Kumiko very suddenly felt the impact of Reina's elbow in her side.

"You're just saying that."

"No, r-really! You're always so sure of yourself and focused on what you want, it's, uh, pretty grown-up."

"You can say that, but I'm not." Reina twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "I try my best to put on that front, and I suppose it works, but really, I'm not sure what I'm doing from day to day. Being told that I seem grown-up - that everyone has these expectations beyond what I can handle - just makes it harder."

"Oh."

"It's nothing to worry about." Reina settled back down under the covers. "I'm just . . . confused, I suppose. I'm still not sure what these _feelings_ are supposed to mean and it's difficult, being told what love is and then suddenly being told that this isn't it."

"'This?'"

"He's a man, isn't he? Shouldn't I be madly in love with him? I admire his ambition and dedication, but what else is there? Is this how it's supposed to feel? I don't know." She slid down, her voice now muffled by the pillow. "It's just confusing."

"We have time, Reina."

"Hmm?"

"I mean, I don't know exactly how to really help you, since I've never gone through something . . . quite like f-falling for a teacher, but I think I know what love's like. You don't question it, usually, and you don't go out seeking it. It just ends up finding you, y'know?"

"I don't quite follow."

"Yeah, I'm not the best at advice-giving, am I?"

"You're really not." Kumiko held a hand to her chest in mock offense.

"Wow, who's the terrible one now, Reina?"

"I'd say that it's still you." Kumiko snorted.

"You're a nerd."

"I could say the same thing."

"Do you think it'll turn out alright?"

"Eh?" Reina looked to the ceiling again, dim lights reflected in her eyes.

"The band, the competition, all of it. Do you think it'll work out?"

"I hope so, Reina." Kumiko found herself intertwining her fingers with Reina's, the pleasant feeling of warmth spreading through her body. "I really do hope so."


End file.
